So… I guess today has been ok. I mean aside from having to sit next to my ex best friend and one of my exs texting me for advice and counselling constantly, I guess I’m doing alright……. I guess….. lol. Today is a random day and i would just like to blog them and share them with you.

*IF THINGS ARE TYPED WRONG IT’S BECAUSE I HAVE FAKE NAILS ON AND THEY DON’T WANT TO COOPERATE*

I just wish I could do my whole life over again. There are days when I DO wish that nothing had gone wrong with my parents’ relationship and that they were stilll together. Is that normal? I love Beth and I want her to adopt me as soon as we get the chance but i have those days where I can’t help but wish and wonder what things would be like. I remember one time when my parents first just initially split, my dad came over to the house that mom, Austin, and I were living in. He asked me and my bro if it would be ok if he stayed the night to try and fix things with mom. I straight up no. Every time I remember that, I get the feeling that I got when I told daddy that. My chest tightens up and I feel angry, annoyed, and I wanna cry…..

I get front row seats to seeing my grampa ( Mr. or Senor) slowly die. I feel like I’m losing 2 of my best friends… My dad seems a little more distant and Grampa is slowly fading away. My heart just breaks when my dad comes to pick me up and I can see the pain, the anger and frustration in his eyes. I want to fix it and I know that I can’t…. And even if I could, I wouldn’t know how. Well the bell just rang… I must go. Give me your opinions and good jazzy crap like that. I’ll try to get to a commputer soon.

*Lauren*